Dude don't say that shit

Listen, I just want to tell you this, if somebody says something like "My head hurts," or "I'm broke," or "I'm really upset that my zebra print vinyl suit is no longer en vogue," don't say "Welcome to my world" as a response.  It's fucking obnoxious.  Oh gee, really?  This is actually YOUR world?  You love that zebra print suit so much that you constructed and now rule a world dedicated to lamenting it's passing out of fashion?  And you're actually going to be gracious enough to WELCOME me to your world even though you've obviously cornered the market on this one?  Man, you sure are sweet.

No, dude, it's not cute, it's not funny, it's not even remotely NOT impolite to say "Welcome to my world" unless you're actually welcoming someone into your secret basement room you've plastered floor to ceiling with supersweet comic book graphics of your own imagining, design and illustration, in that case say "Welcome to my world" in a super creepy way as you shut the door behind them.  In any other case, don't say it.  Just politely commiserate with the person, e.g.:  "Man, I'm totally broke" potential response: "Dude, that sucks" or even just "Dude" will suffice without making you look like a totally narcissistic dicknose.  You don't even have to be super sympathetic, just don't turn it into something about YOU.  You know why this is such an unacceptable thing to say?  Because the implication is basically "yeah, I don't really want to hear about it because I've got it way worse than you.  Let's talk about MY problems instead."  That is your lesson to learn.  

My lesson:

On the flip side of this- don't complain.  No one wants to hear it.  Did you ever notice how those "Make-a-Wish" kids walk around with their terminal conditions and never say anything about how bad they've got it but smile and act all grateful and stuff and then everyone acts like they're these incredible courageous heroic special people?  It's because they are.  Because they're facing their own mortality and they're not sitting around bitching about it 24/7 but they're being all nice to other people and appreciative and stuff.  Is being broke a terminal illness?  is having a headache (people with inoperable brain tumors need not mull this one over)?  You're the one bitching about that's most likely going to end in you NOT dying from it.  You're a lot cooler when you suffer in silence.